Today, 4 of us, my 2 Thai staff and Bruce (our PhD intern) headed down the mountain to Phitsanulok to grab the supplies for tomorrow’s mission team. This is a routine chore that we do prior to every volunteer team’s arrival.Though routine, this trip turned out to be a nostalgic one for me.
As I stood in the all-so-familar surroundings of the Thai hypermart (Tesco Lotus), I was reminded that this would be last time I’ll be here; hearing the repetitive thai music while struggling to get groceries that have their labels written only in Thai.
With every step, my heart felt heavier. Looking through the items brought back memories.
Going through the children section, reminiscing how I have previously bought some of these kids on our streetkids program. The dried noodles & bedding section, brought back memories of late nights where Ben and me will be filling our empty stomachs with instant noodles and wondering when will we be able to buy a proper bed instead of sleeping on the floors.
Each section took me back memory lane, though the hard times, happy times and times that was filled with tears.
Finally i stopped by the Audio & Video section to pick out a few educational documentaries for the kiddos. This too brought their faces to mind, and my heart sank knowing that I may not be around to watch these shows with them.
On the journey, Bruce asked me what made me the same question as many of our dearest supporters. A simple but painful question “Why did I decide to leave full time service in Thailand to head back to Singapore?”
Now, we have been on the mission field for some 2 years now and since we started, we have drawing from our personal savings . Its only of late that we managed to draw a small allowance from our lifeline project- CS300. Without CS300 attaining full financial support and the ministry has pressing needs for the money, both the directors bore the burden and survived on a terribly small allowance.
My decision to leave is not a sudden one, neither is it one of disappointment, instead its a hard decision that have been rendered months of careful thought.
With low financial support and insufficient manpower, having Ben to manage the operations in Thailand and me to work in Singapore to support financially would definably be at the best interest of RADION.Without having to cater for allowances, RADION will now be able to free up some funding to employ 2-4 more local destitute villagers to continue and expand our work.
That i guess is the best option right now.
It’s saddening just thinking of how to break the news to the kids, but i do hope that i can quickly clear off all my existing commitments and return to Thailand as soon as I can. Missions is fun 
So do keep me in your prayers 
